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Resolutions, intentions and (self)sabotage

Mar 6

Written by: Valerie Shahan
Sun, 06 Mar 2011 22:17:20 GMT 

New Year’s Eve is a traditional time for making resolutions. Like a great many individuals, I also have made scores of resolutions. I have no recollection of any specific  new year resolutions being realized.

In recent years I have not even bothered to make even one resolution especially for the New Year. Now I make them when it is meaningful for me to do so, any time of the year!

Here we are now,  in early March.  What have you told yourself about that resolution you made back on New Year’s eve?  The one you truly thought about and even discussed with friends in the days leading up to that critical declaration?  This is where each of us in our own way start to beat up on ourselves—for awhile anyway.

Now with spring just about on us, it is easy to forget what ever resolution was made back in early winter.  Now we get caught up on the demands  of longer days, warmer temperatures and frenetic activity.

The critical factor is what are you going to do next Dec 31?  What will it take for you to finally examine why you give up on yourself?  What does it take for you to look deeper and discover why you do not allow yourself success in things and experiences that are important to you?

It is almost always some reason coming from within myself, something from within yourself,  that sabotages most new year’s resolutions.  Rarely is it something outside of ourselves.  It is like even before I have begun to make serious effort to realizing the resolution, I have already given myself permission to fail, to give up on it; that I will not succeed anyway.

There is a way to get end self sabotage.  It is a means of looking at what you believe about yourself and finding ways to forgive yourself. 

This is core to the work I do with clients.  Each of us have beliefs that have been with us from childhood.;  These beliefs trip us up and some of them have an annual date; 31 Dec! 

What will you do now, right now, here in March, to end this cycle of defeated resolution after defeated resolution.  Choose to change your expectation of yourself, so  the next time new year comes around you will know  for yourself exactly  what you are truly resolving.  It is time to make this resolution—you matter!

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2 comment(s) so far...

Re: Resolutions, intentions and (self)sabotage

Very nice site here and I am sure that many are helped by your wisdom and kind heart.

One thing about forgiveness that I learned some time ago. I used to practice forgiveness and suggest that to others as a way to heal themselves of wounds and emotions. But some wise person changed that direction for me. I saw things more clearly and what the crux was that was holding me hostage emotionally. You see one must judge another for forgiveness to be warranted and extended. So, I decided that my judgment of another or even of myself was the core of my egoistic mind. If I can just judge less, I would no longer need to forgive as forgiveness comes from judging. I found that by the act of forgiving myself or others, I was judging. I do less of that now and am more in align with my inner self. I still fall into the judging thing, but I am aware of it as I still have an ego! Old habits die hard! It seems easier for me to know I am judging and stop that mind talk than sometimes it is to forgive. Forgiving doesn't seem authentic to me now that I know it stems from judging. Hope that makes sense and thanks for the opportunity to remind myself that inner peace is attained from non-judgmental ways of being. Namaste dear friend!

By Calin on   Sat, 26 Mar 2011 21:56:44 GMT

Re: Resolutions, intentions and (self)sabotage

Calin, I appreciate your comments! Thank you for writing! Forgiveness is not necessary on a spiritual level as we are innocent; that is the only way Higher Power perceives us. It makes sense! If I am manifestation of Higher Power then how can I be any thing less than innocent as Higher Power is! If I am Spirit in a human body then how do I be guilty?

But guilt and judgment are an egoistic ideas; part of the hell on Earth! The more work I do on myself in letting go of my own self judgment which I often projected on to others; the less nattering my ego does! Whew! I am grateful for that! Namaste!

By Valerie on   Wed, 13 Apr 2011 09:19:17 GMT